Fifty Shades

You thought this was going to be about Fifty Shades Of Grey didn’t you? Gotcha! Yes, I’ve read all three books. Yes, I loved all of them. Yes, I love Christian Grey and am not above stumbling into random offices in downtown Atlanta just to find a CEO who will take me out for coffee. Or dinner. Or whatever. And if he so happens to look like Ian Somerhalder who I am dying for the Hollywood gods to cast as Mr. Grey, then so be it. I won’t complain. ANYWAY…

Working at a spa means you have to maintain some kind of relaxing and pleasing aesthetic. Our place is black and white with hard wood floors and touches of silver and amber. It’s super pretty and clean and looks how you would want a spa to look. I have to wear all white. Everyday. I had no idea how difficult this was. I thought I had a lot of white in my wardrobe, but I was very very wrong.

[This shirt would fall under "blend-with-the-wall" white]

I am now going to name fifty shades of white to broaden the horizons of my work outfits:

1. Hospital walls

2. Printer paper

3. Styrafoam

4. Apple charger

5. Macbook (circa 2006)

6. Cloud

7. Ivory

8. Eggshell

9. Floss

10. Cauliflower

11. Lightbulb

12. Frosted glass

13. Snow

14. Crown molding

15. Parking space lines

16. Dashes in roads

17. White-out

18. Car headlights

19. Pearl

20. Five brand wine bottles

21. Receipt

22. Book pages

23. Square device

24. Coffee creamer

25. Half & half

26. 2% Milk

27. Whole milk

28. Skim milk (am I cheating?)

29. Contact case

30. Chalk

31. White-board

32. Bones

33. Teeth

34. Eyeball

35. Hanes shirt

36. Buttercream frosting

37. Angel food cake

38. Pound cake

39. Carnation

40. Rice

41. Jay Manuel’s hair

42. Betty White

43. Bleach

44. Boy-band frosted tips

45. Snow leopard

46. KISS face paint

47. Oreo filling

48. Jergen’s lotion

49. Sunspot

50. Sunscreen