Being raised as a strong-willed, independent woman proved to be a blessing. I pride myself on being self-sufficient, hard-working, and responsible. My parents certainly raised me that way, but I began exhibiting those qualities early in life. I was one of those kids who wanted to do things on my own without any help. If I didn’t know how to do something, I would figure it out. And that was before we had the internet!
Asking for help has always been a difficult task for me. It killed me to get tutored during my sophomore year of high school when I was barely passing chemistry. When I injured my knee, it took me nearly two months to suck it up and see a doctor—turns out I needed surgery. After suffering a pulmonary embolism, I terrified everyone around me because I didn’t want anyone to help me with anything.
A few years ago, I was living in New York. I had just been dumped. I was struggling with my job. I hated winter. The city was destroying me, and my anxiety was at an all-time high. I didn’t know what to do. Instead of trying to just figure it out and continue to be miserable, I got help. I found a wonderful therapist, made a ton of life-changing decisions, and started to feel okay again.
Recently, I found myself in a position where I needed some help. As an adult, it’s even more difficult. You want to think you have your shit together and that you can handle it. But you know what? No one our age has their shit together! No one knows what they’re doing. I have an incredible job, a roof over my head, and the best dog ever. And yet life does not seem to be going the way I thought it would. That’s okay!
I’m so #blessed to have an unbelievable support system and recognize that not everyone is so lucky. But everyone should know that you can get help when you need it. You just have to ask.
I’m not sure when asking for help became synonymous with weak or incapable, but that is some bullshit. Don’t listen to that nonsense. It takes an incredibly strong person to realize they can’t do it all alone, so don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about it.