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Things I’m Afraid To Tell You

Things I’m Afraid To Tell You

May 31, 2012

written by in Blog

Something’s been going on in the blogosphere. It started with Jess of Make Under My Life and inspired Ez of Creature Comforts to create a challenge in an effort to make blogging more transparent. Meg from Mimi+Meg continued the movement. We have two lives: the ones we share with you and the ones off-screen. Sure, our internet personas seem pretty fabulous, but we struggle with real life issues too.

So…here are things I’m afraid to tell you:

1. I struggle with anxiety: It started after I had my pulmonary embolism, kind of a post-traumatic stress thing but escalated very quickly. I went from being a social butterfly from not wanting to go out or be around people because it made me too nervous. I get panic attacks, normally when I feel like I can’t breathe if I’m in too crowded of a space or around a lot of smoke. I’ve been in and out of therapy and can manage without medication. The other night I had an allergy attack which turned into a big ordeal because I freaked out that I couldn’t breathe.

2. I feel like I’m living in Final Destination: I’ve had more near-death experiences than a 22-year-old should. It’s a running joke in my family that I’m like a cat with nine lives, but I really do feel like I’m  in Final Destination and there are all kinds of horrible accidents waiting for me around the corner. Every time I walk down the stairs, I tell myself that I’m not going to fall and break my neck.

3. I’m organized chaos with OCD tendencies: My room is a disaster. My brain is extremely creative so my living space imitates that, but I always know where everything is. I hate it when people try to organize things for me because I always know where to find something, even if it’s a mess. My closet is color-coded, but I leave clothes on the floor. All of my hangers have to face the same direction. I have to straighten out utensils and condiments on tables. Products in my medicine cabinet have to face the same direction.

4. My coffee addiction is actually a problem: I joke about being a coffee addict, but it really is true. I get serious headaches if I don’t have it, and I typically drink about six cups throughout the day.

5. I always feel like I’m not doing enough: Despite all of the things I do, I never feel quite up to par. This past year I was a full-time student, an intern, and editing two publications. That’s a shit ton of work! But I always felt like I could do more. I’ve been published in Cosmopolitan and run CC Beauty Live. Staring at a computer all day can get inside your head and make you feel like you’re not doing enough. If I’m not busy, I don’t know what to do with myself or how to function.

6. I love Atlanta and the South: I love it down here. I have big dreams of moving to New York and living the city life, but I love this city. Being back in Atlanta after graduating has opened my eyes a little bit, and I missed things that I didn’t even realize. I’d love to make it as a blogger and media person in the South because I think we need the industry to grow here. It might be hot as hell, but we have sweet tea, Chick-Fil-A, and grits.

7. I believe in love and luck and fate and serendipity: I’m not religious, and that’s a really long story. But I believe that things always work out the way they’re supposed to. What’s “right” might not be “right now” and meddling never gets you anywhere.

8. I’m irrationally afraid of fish: I don’t like them. I had a really terrible snorkeling experience when I was a kid. They really freak me out, and I don’t go in the ocean if I can’t see my feet. For a while I wouldn’t even eat fish, but I’ve gotten over that through my love of sushi. So no, I won’t go snorkeling or scuba diving or fishing with you.

9. I care way too much: I care so much about people that I forget about myself and suffer for it. I’m extremely empathetic and take on other people’s emotions, which makes me a really great friend but it’s difficult to deal with your own emotions on top of everyone else’s.

10. I am perfectly content staying in: I love to go out, but I will gladly stay in with a good book or a sappy movie. I hate rom-coms but I’m known to watch Tristan & Isolde by myself with a pack of Oreos. Some of my favorite nights are spent watching The Food Network with my dad.

Well, that’s that. I’m sure more will come along. I’m not crazy, I’m normal. I have a great life, but it’s not like I’m spewing rainbows and butterflies out of my mouth all the time.

From Meg:

Bloggers Who Are Participating in Wave No.2:

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor’s Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It’s Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

Thanks again to Jess for her initial post, and to Ez for starting the movement. 

Here are the bloggers that participated in Ez’s Wave No. 1 of Things I’m Afraid To Tell You:

Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope’s Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda’s Musings | Mo’ Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty’s Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea

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